I’m sure most of you have known this for awhile, but there is an extremely high likelihood that I am now totally crazy.
I’m nauseas pretty often, but it’s been worse lately (and no, weasels, I’m not pregnant…don’t be stupid), so I have spent most of the last few days convincing myself that I am dying of a million different diseases. How many can you name? Because I can name a lot: leukemia, breast cancer, hepatitus, meningitis, lupus, stomach cancer, aneurysm, Lou Gehrig’s disease, AIDS, Ed’s disease (that’s lack-of-sleep-from-too-much-dating-disorder), syphillis, generalized anxiety disorder, etc. I’m driving my mom and my boyfriend nuts by constantly asking, “Am I dying? What if I have fill-in-the-blank?”
To make matters worse, I have an extreme phobia of doctors, so until I am tied up and physically dragged to the doctor’s office (which my boyfriend keeps threatening to do), we’ll never know the answers to those questions. I actually crossed the line into totally-irrational-land yesterday when I asked if there was such a thing as tongue cancer. Yea, I know. Crazy.
So since I am considering seeking medical attention, we will now start the betting: I am either a) dying of a horrible disease, b) suffering from simple ulcers over all the worrying about dying of a horrible disease, c) dying of multiple horrible diseases, or d) certifiably insane……or e) all of the above. Place your bets.