EventsOccurInRealTime

I have a tendency to get a tad too focused on a random mission.  I seek something special, and I will search the ends of the earth to find it.  Anyone unlucky enough to be subjected to my singular-mindedness would surely rather give up and move on to other easily-found objects, but I am relentless, and I will drag you into the hunt with me.

Am I talking about seeking treasure? jewels? holy grails?  No such thing…typically only something shockingly ordinary.

This happened last weekend as I got into my head an overwhelming desire to watch the 80s flick, “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.” The title came up during dinner, and I decided (without vote, I’m sure) that we stop at a nearby store so I could buy it and we could watch it.  I still don’t know if my dinner companion embraced this idea wholeheartedly, but he went obediently along with it.  As we stopped at not one, not two, but three stores (and I thought Wal-Mart carried everything!), we resorted to running to a Blockbuster and simply renting it or something else. 

As we pulled up to Video Rental Store #1, I joked that they would stock it (unlike the stores) but it would be rented out.  Of course, I jinxed us right there…it probably disappeared in a puff of smoke the moment the words came out of my mouth.  I have been on one too many late-night trips to the video store during marathon 24 sessions in a desperate hunt for the next disc…I’m used to the disappointment of coming up emptyhanded. Naturally, my prediction was correct (turns out, sometimes I do hate it when I’m right!), so we had the clerk call another local store…out. 

Convinced that we were now committed to the quest, we hit a different video rental chain to seek out the elusive, cheesy-yet-entertaining flick.  Out.  Informing them of our insane search, they willingly called another location.  It was in that store’s computer, but (miraculously) stolen.  The clerk offered to call the last location in the county we hadn’t searched.  As this latest development was the most fantastical explanation for our shortage of fun-having-girls thus far, we said, “Why Not? May as well try one more….”  Eureka!  They had the apparently-recently-very-popular film and held it for us.  We watched, we laughed, satisfied with completing the quest, yet laughing ourselves silly at the complete absurdity of it all.

 Heaven help you if you are in a five-mile radius the next time I start a ridiculous quest….

Ever feel like you have stumbled into the Twilight Zone? Something inexplicable happens, and you find yourself in a stupor, desperately racking your brain for a reasonable explanation.  Given the governing “Allison Law” in my life, I’m usually not too surprised when events like this occur (in real time…natch).  I just shake my head in disbelief and move on, recognizing that some things will never have a reasonable explanation.  I have recently fallen victim to these bizarro events…none life-changing or astoundingly miraculous. Really just more …….weird.

Example #1: On the way to a friend’s wedding in Salt Lake (an hour away), I dropped my bluetooth headset into my bag, thinking I may make some calls during the drive, and then stashed that bag into the trunk of my Jeep.  I ended up zoning out and never actually made any calls during the trip.  I also never moved the bag from the trunk until I got home (I had a little handbag that went into the wedding with me).  The next morning I fished around in my bag for the headset, and it was gone.  Vanished.  Now I’m tormented by the fact that I (like that red ring of mine) own an item to which I am clueless of its location. 

Giving up the search of every nook and cranny, I succumbed to the fact that I had lost it for good, when one day, I open the door to my jeep’s backseat and there, in the floor, is the bluetooth headset.  Here’s the weird part: There is no nook or cranny between the back seat and the cargo space.  So how did this little electronic device migrate from inside my bag which was in my trunk where there is absolutely no path to the backseat and land in the floor board there?  I cheered for finding it, yes, but then sat for a moment in that stupor I mentioned earlier, unable to explain what happened.

Example #2 (and this one is a doozy):  Last weekend, I’m in California Pizza Kitchen with a friend.  We ordered, received our drinks , and then both proceeded to the bathroom, leaving the table briefly unattended (which granted, isn’t a bright idea, but it was late, the restaurant was quiet, and I figured our drinks weren’t in any real danger).  We come back to the table, and everything is a little bit…..off.  The glasses have moved, lost their straws, and the bread plate (which was previously stacked with slices of sourdough) is empty, leaving only a small trail of crumbs.  What exactly happened here?  The best explanations I could come up with were that either they started clearing the table thinking we left or some stranger at the next table thought it would be funny to make bread and straws disappear.  We sat in shock, unable to explain the bizarre occurrence, had the waiter replace the drinks, and polished off dessert. 

Once back in the car, we started freaking out about the sheer weirdness of that whole experience.  Did everyone else in the restaurant witness the straw/bread thiefs?  The worst part (even worse than becoming aware of a lost thing) is that we will never actually know what happened….

It’s all just…weird…..

**doo do doo do doo do doo do**