EventsOccurInRealTime

Okay, so the blog is undergoing major server and design changes…new sweetness coming soon!

So my obsession with the phrase “Events Occur in Real Time” is about to pay off.  My husband and I are starting a new company, Real Time Advertising!  It’s a near-full-service advertising agency.  (Near-full-service as in we can do everything– from media placement to all design work– except video production at this point.)  We are almost done with the paperwork and our design and logo.  We should be up-and-running in a few weeks!

I’m super excited about this.  I’ve wanted to run my own business since high school, and advertising is a passion of mine.  The only thing that stopped me until this point was the fact that I have zero creative skills.  However, that’s an irrelevant problem now, given that I married a graphic designer!  Andrew will do all of our design work.  Stay tuned as this blog may evolve into a business blog for our company.  (I’ll have to come up with another sweet new phrase for my personal ranting blog

I’m obsessed with a cable network.

TLC : I think it used to be known as The Learning Channel, but they really mostly broadcast non-trashy reality tv shows. Cameras follow around actually-interesting people, and we get to watch the non-celebrities tackle life, just as we all do. It’s really quite captivating.

My Monday nights used to be forsaken due to Fox’s Prison Break and 24 (my blog’s namesake). Those fictionalized shows tragically killed off the best characters, and I’m not a huge fan of death, so I switched to the happier Monday-night-guilty-pleasure, “Jon & Kate Plus 8″. My husband is still learning that I am physically and emotionally unavailable during the Monday night Jon-and-Kate marathons. I don’t think he is huge fan of that, but he semi-reluctantly watches with me and laughs along as the kids say hilarious things and we marvel at the crazy life this family has and cement our desire “to never have kids.” (We will, of course, one day, but for now it’s great birth control.)

Some of the network’s shows are too estrogen-filled for my loving husband (he abhors the set-in-a wedding-dress-boutique “Say Yes to the Dress” and the single-parent dating show “Must Love Kids”), but he’ll actually submit to “What Not to Wear” (and complain that they should makeover guys too), “Rock the Reception” (we both love Tabitha and Napolean, the choreographers from “So You Think You Can Dance”), and of course, “Jon & Kate”. Andrew is a fan of “Take-Home Handyman”, I think because it makes him want to be a handyman. He gets all small-home-project happy, which will pretty much benefit me a lot once we get our own home.

I like TLC so much, that on the off-chance that I turn it on and see “Mystery Diagnosis” (which has far too many corpses for my taste) or “Miami Ink” (far, far too many needles) is on instead of one of my beloved favorites, I actually get sort of bugged. How unhealthy is that? That I get mad at my favorite network if my favorite shows aren’t on…

I need TiVo…badly…

Okay, so I didn’t post on wedding planning….someday I’ll write a book.

I was a tad busy the last few months doing this:

But I’m back now and committed to actually using my wonderful blog again, which I hope will be looking sweeter soon too, if I can convince my brilliant graphic-designer husband to do some work for me.

So here’s the update: We have been married for four months—married life is fantastic! (Except of course for the occasional money-fight, laundry mishap, or the permanent credit card removal, but we are making do.) The wedding came off perfectly despite a few major hiccups.

I was in the hospital having scans and ultrasounds on my rapidly-deteriorating tummy one month before the big day. Whoever said being engaged is great was LYING! It was by far the most stressful time of my life…almost killed me, in fact. My doc basically loaded me up with anti-ulcer meds. Then to top things off, I had one of the worst cold/viruses ever the week of the wedding which left me drugged out on Aleve Cold & Sinus and wiped my memory of some of the weeks’ pre-wedding activities. Thankfully, I recovered well enough (with the help of the Aleve and Vapo-Rub on my feet the night before, by counsel from one of my bridesmaids, which shockingly worked wonders), and the big day was awesome, amazing, blissful, and fantastic! We have some great pictures, and I’ll find the time one of these days to scan through all 1500 of them and actually make some prints and books.

Our honeymoon in Hawaii was unbelievable! Thanks to a dear friend, we stayed in an amazing Marriott resort on Oahu that was so beautiful, elegant, and secluded that it made us both seriously contemplate never returning to the mainland. We had plenty of time to see all the sights on Oahu (Polynesian Cultural Center, Oahu Temple, Waikiki Beach, Pearl Harbor and of course, shave ice at Matsumoto’s) and still spend loads of time on the beach healing my ulcered stomach, getting some sun, and enjoying our first days as husband and wife.

We live in my old apartment now and are working on paying off our debt so we can buy a house next year. And, hopefully, actually post a few more times between now and then….

I know I haven’t posted in, oh, a decade or two, but I’ve been rather busy between sleep, work, and cuddle-time with the most wonderful man I’ve ever met…and now we’re engaged! (*pause for short happy-dance and rapid clapping*) I’m so happy that I sometimes have a hard time wiping the smile of my face.

I’m now hip-deep in bridal magazines and books….I have business cards for everything from ice sculptures to cake decorators….and at least 30 pictures of me in various wedding dresses (to be scrutinized, squealed about, and oogled over by every female in my life). We got engaged on Christmas Eve and I’ve been proudly and ever-more-expertly displaying my left hand every day since.

Like every little girl, I always dreamed about my wedding day, but I never realized that it’s a full-time, non-paying, high-stress job to plan one! I also have never had to make so many decisions in my life. I officially decided, given the hours I’ve spent looking at color wheels trying to pick a wedding color scheme, that I hate every color (literally, all of them!). I had no idea that there were upwards of a 100 different kinds of silk. I’ve never been more psycho-observant of every floral display I run across. I can’t believe that cakes come in every conceivable shape including round, square, bundt, and off-balance Who-ville towers. I still don’t understand how invitation paper could cost more than my wedding dress.

I have also never had so many opinion-givers in my life, with an opinion about the lace on my dress, the ribbons on my favors, or the absolute necessity of a wedding videographer. And I’m feeling slightly unpopular now having made my guest list and recognizing less than half of the invitees (apparently I have fewer friends than our parents’ lists of old friends, church members, and long-lost relatives).

I know that this is possibly one of the most fun moments in my life, being the one who is pointed at when a dress shop owner asks my entourage who the bride is. I get to play dress-up in a gorgeous gown, have an awesome party, and marry the love of my life. And I plan on documenting all the splendor (read: laughs, tears, squeals, near-bridezilla-moments…) here on this blog….stay tuned….

So check out my new page, “The Monkey is a Nazi!” (at right). Let me know if I need to add the context for each quote, or if they are funny enough on their own.

I know. I know. I’m terrible. You all must have thought I abandoned by kick-ace new site and fell off the edge of the Earth.

I didn’t.

I have been existing quite happily on Earth, far from the edge. Well unless you count Nashville. (Kidding, guys.) I spent two glorious weeks there this month, recooperating from my particularly hectic life lately. And I have been going at ninety miles a minute since….

Work is awesome; the last few months have been busy, but lucrative. I’m taking over as President of a local business organization in two weeks, which will add more chaos to my life…small sacrifice for the honor and recognition. Family is doing well…all partying in happy valley currently. I’m spending the precious few remaining hours with my new boy, who has been so amazing to put up with me and my craziness lately. And I think I’m somehow managing to get a few hours of sleep…..somewhere in between the pop tarts and vitaminwater.

I promise I’ll be back with more fun soon, but until then, sneak a peek at this video I saw today.  This dude actually won the competition, the cash prize, and a record deal. What an inspiration! We should all find our inner diamond.

I have a tendency to get a tad too focused on a random mission.  I seek something special, and I will search the ends of the earth to find it.  Anyone unlucky enough to be subjected to my singular-mindedness would surely rather give up and move on to other easily-found objects, but I am relentless, and I will drag you into the hunt with me.

Am I talking about seeking treasure? jewels? holy grails?  No such thing…typically only something shockingly ordinary.

This happened last weekend as I got into my head an overwhelming desire to watch the 80s flick, “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.” The title came up during dinner, and I decided (without vote, I’m sure) that we stop at a nearby store so I could buy it and we could watch it.  I still don’t know if my dinner companion embraced this idea wholeheartedly, but he went obediently along with it.  As we stopped at not one, not two, but three stores (and I thought Wal-Mart carried everything!), we resorted to running to a Blockbuster and simply renting it or something else. 

As we pulled up to Video Rental Store #1, I joked that they would stock it (unlike the stores) but it would be rented out.  Of course, I jinxed us right there…it probably disappeared in a puff of smoke the moment the words came out of my mouth.  I have been on one too many late-night trips to the video store during marathon 24 sessions in a desperate hunt for the next disc…I’m used to the disappointment of coming up emptyhanded. Naturally, my prediction was correct (turns out, sometimes I do hate it when I’m right!), so we had the clerk call another local store…out. 

Convinced that we were now committed to the quest, we hit a different video rental chain to seek out the elusive, cheesy-yet-entertaining flick.  Out.  Informing them of our insane search, they willingly called another location.  It was in that store’s computer, but (miraculously) stolen.  The clerk offered to call the last location in the county we hadn’t searched.  As this latest development was the most fantastical explanation for our shortage of fun-having-girls thus far, we said, “Why Not? May as well try one more….”  Eureka!  They had the apparently-recently-very-popular film and held it for us.  We watched, we laughed, satisfied with completing the quest, yet laughing ourselves silly at the complete absurdity of it all.

 Heaven help you if you are in a five-mile radius the next time I start a ridiculous quest….

Ever feel like you have stumbled into the Twilight Zone? Something inexplicable happens, and you find yourself in a stupor, desperately racking your brain for a reasonable explanation.  Given the governing “Allison Law” in my life, I’m usually not too surprised when events like this occur (in real time…natch).  I just shake my head in disbelief and move on, recognizing that some things will never have a reasonable explanation.  I have recently fallen victim to these bizarro events…none life-changing or astoundingly miraculous. Really just more …….weird.

Example #1: On the way to a friend’s wedding in Salt Lake (an hour away), I dropped my bluetooth headset into my bag, thinking I may make some calls during the drive, and then stashed that bag into the trunk of my Jeep.  I ended up zoning out and never actually made any calls during the trip.  I also never moved the bag from the trunk until I got home (I had a little handbag that went into the wedding with me).  The next morning I fished around in my bag for the headset, and it was gone.  Vanished.  Now I’m tormented by the fact that I (like that red ring of mine) own an item to which I am clueless of its location. 

Giving up the search of every nook and cranny, I succumbed to the fact that I had lost it for good, when one day, I open the door to my jeep’s backseat and there, in the floor, is the bluetooth headset.  Here’s the weird part: There is no nook or cranny between the back seat and the cargo space.  So how did this little electronic device migrate from inside my bag which was in my trunk where there is absolutely no path to the backseat and land in the floor board there?  I cheered for finding it, yes, but then sat for a moment in that stupor I mentioned earlier, unable to explain what happened.

Example #2 (and this one is a doozy):  Last weekend, I’m in California Pizza Kitchen with a friend.  We ordered, received our drinks , and then both proceeded to the bathroom, leaving the table briefly unattended (which granted, isn’t a bright idea, but it was late, the restaurant was quiet, and I figured our drinks weren’t in any real danger).  We come back to the table, and everything is a little bit…..off.  The glasses have moved, lost their straws, and the bread plate (which was previously stacked with slices of sourdough) is empty, leaving only a small trail of crumbs.  What exactly happened here?  The best explanations I could come up with were that either they started clearing the table thinking we left or some stranger at the next table thought it would be funny to make bread and straws disappear.  We sat in shock, unable to explain the bizarre occurrence, had the waiter replace the drinks, and polished off dessert. 

Once back in the car, we started freaking out about the sheer weirdness of that whole experience.  Did everyone else in the restaurant witness the straw/bread thiefs?  The worst part (even worse than becoming aware of a lost thing) is that we will never actually know what happened….

It’s all just…weird…..

**doo do doo do doo do doo do**

Hello all!  Welcome to my new blog!  Doesn’t it look awesome?!!

For those of you who noticed my lack of posting lately on my old site, it’s because I was waiting for this new site to get pretty before I sent you here.  But, now that it’s done (and sufficiently pretty), I expect I’ll be posting with reckless abandon!

Please subscribe (click on link at right) and you will get emails when I post anything new.  In the mean time, I’m seeking help in creating categories for my posts.  Random suggestions are fine, given that most of my blog is fairly random.  Just leave a comment or send me a note.  The more creative (or tailor-made) for me, the better.  I may be talked into rewards of some kind for the best one.

See you again here soon!